


hold me (closer)

by FreyaS



Series: Stony Bingo [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Awkward Flirting, Civil War Fix-It, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sharing Clothes, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Feels, but before it happens, its a CW fix it, surprise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-28 13:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaS/pseuds/FreyaS
Summary: Stony Bingo fill O2: wearing each other's clothes---It had started with a hoodie. The Stark Industries hoodie that Tony had left on the kitchen counter on a visit to the Avengers’ compound. It was his favorite, a freebie from a Stark Expo years back that he’d snagged. It was too large for him and he often had to roll up its fraying sleeves when he wore it in the workshop, but it was warm and comfortable, worn with age and smelled faintly of grease and oil.(Or Tony and Steve share clothes andeventuallyresolve their differences.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of a multi chapter fic for a Stony bingo.
> 
> Huge thanks to maya and tiger for cheer-reading.

It had started with a hoodie. The Stark Industries hoodie that Tony had left on the kitchen counter on a visit to the Avengers’ compound. It was his favorite, a freebie from a Stark Expo years back that he’d snagged. It was too large for him and he often had to roll up its fraying sleeves when he wore it in the workshop, but it was warm and comfortable, worn with age and smelled faintly of grease and oil.

He had left it on the counter - he could picture the exact spot in his mind, right next to the fruit bowl that Steve diligently kept stocked- but when he returned to the compound a few hours later, the hoodie was nowhere to be found. He’s searched around the kitchen and den and asked Vision and Wanda if they’d seen it but neither had. He had left, dejected, and resolved to ask the cleaning staff if they had taken it to be laundered.

The cleaning company assured him that none of their staff had taken the hoodie and apologized for any inconvenience. Tony chalked it up to bad luck but still mourned the loss of his favorite piece of clothing. He put it out of his mind until the next time had a meeting at the compound. It was an informal meeting and only those who were around were asked to attend.  Only Steve, Natasha, and Sam had responded to the meeting invite as the rest of the team were on various missions or off base.

They had booked one of the smaller meeting room, and Tony was early for once. The rest of the team trickled in and Tony was surprised when Steve was the last to join them. He was about to make a quip about punctuality but was struck dumb by what Steve was wearing. It was his missing hoodie, undoubtedly. It had the same stains and burns holes from spilled coffee and flying sparks. While Tony practically swam within its depths, it fit Steve like a glove. It was stretched tightly across his broad back and the fabric was molded to the muscles on his arms.

Tony’s mouth opened but his mind felt like a computer blue screening, and nothing came out. Steve shot him on indiscernible look before taking a seat across from Tony, in between Nat and Sam. He seemed completely at ease, even leaning back in his chair and stuffing his hands into the front pockets of the hoodie. Tony turned his head to see if the others were seeing what he was seeing, but Nat seemed engrossed in the papers in front of her. Sam met Tony’s eyes and his lips twitched slightly upwards, but otherwise he didn’t seem particularly shocked or surprised. Tony closed his mouth. So it one of those things everyone was going to ignore. He gulped, looking back at Steve in his favorite sweater, and tried to turn his thoughts back to the meeting.

He cleared his throat. “So, nothing too exciting here, just some armor and weapons upgrades. Nat, I addressed your concerns about running out of ammo and I’ve added more pockets to the utility belt without compromising the overall sleekness of the uniform. You know, you could use guns that store more rounds. Or use a different weapon. I could make you a sword! We don’t have anyone with swords on the team.”

Natasha finally looked up and smiled at Tony. “I like my guns Tony. Plus you know first hand that my real weapon is my body.”

Tony’s rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, now you have more bullets if you ever get tired of jumping on people’s heads and snapping their necks like a ninja cat.” He paused and shuffled some papers around before continuing, “Sam, I’ve done some minor upgrades to your wings and goggles, but you can take a look at that on your own. Nothing new for you, Cap.”

Tony turned to face Steve as he addressed him, trying not to notice how the letters in “Stark Industries” stretched across his broad chest. He resolutely met Steve’s eyes instead of letting his gaze drift down. He wasn’t sure what Steve’s game was, but he didn’t want to show even the hint of a reaction until he understood it.

“Well, that’s all that was on my agenda. Anything from you three?” He asked.

“Nothing exciting. Colonel Rhodes is out for a few weeks for official military duties, Wanda and Vision are on a little training excursion, and we just got back from our own mission. Oh, Clint sent a new picture of his family, but I think you were in that email chain,” Steve recited. He leaned forward a little, taking his hands out of the hoodie pockets to fiddle with one of the cuffs. It was almost like he was deliberately drawing Tony’s attention to it.

“Yep, I got those. You’d think Barton would have more important things to do than use us as his own personal facebook feed. Then again, he does live on a farm with broken equipment and suspiciously few animals,” Tony said. He dropped his gaze from Steve’s and gathered up his papers. “Well, that’s all for today. I don’t know why we have to have meetings for these little updates, but next time, I’ll just send an email. Class dismissed.”

Natasha and Sam left quickly, Nat squeezing Tony’s shoulder as she passed him. He smiled at her and nodded to Sam, and then turned to Steve who hadn’t made a move to leave.

“Anything I can do for you, Cap?”

Steve stood up and walked to where Tony stood. “Nothing much. Just wanted to say we miss you. On the team. Rhodes is great, of course, but he doesn’t quite have the same sass.”

Tony looked up from his papers in his hand, startled by Steve’s words.

“Well, you know, I figure building a killer robot and driving one of your closest friends to run away is a good reason to step back from a superhero team,” Tony said bitterly. He bit his lip, cursing internally at his honesty. He always knew how to make a conversation awkward.

“Tony, it wasn’t like that. Everyone forgives you for Ultron, none of us were really in our right minds. And Bruce… well, you didn’t cause anything. That was what he had to do, and you can’t put that on yourself,” Steve told Tony. He reached out and laid a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder and Tony found himself relaxing a little. He didn’t really believe Steve but it was comforting to hear nonetheless. He was disappointed when Steve dropped his hand, wishing he could have leaned into the reassuring touch.

“You should come around here more often. It doesn’t seem fair that you built this ridiculously luxurious place and never get to enjoy it,” Steve said. He smiled down at Tony, looking unfairly gorgeous. Tony was momentarily struck speechless, blinking as if to clear the sun from his eyes.

“Well Rogers, unlike all of you, I also have other commitments. Pepper would kill me if I skipped out on more board meetings,” Tony said, doding the request. He met Steve’s eyes and flashed an empty smile. No matter how much he might miss the team, might miss _Steve_ , he couldn’t allow himself to come back to the team. Everything he touched, he ruined, and that was the last thing the Avengers needed. Every time he closed his eyes at night, he saw the same things over and over. Him, the only person alive as the horrors he couldn’t prevent or had a direct hand in creating, killed everyone he loved. He... shook his head, cutting off his thoughts.

Steve was frowning at him, all traces of his previous soft smile gone. _Just another thing I ruined_ , Tony thought, deprecatingly.

“Speaking about the company, I didn’t know you were such a fan. If you really wanted some SI swag, you should have just asked me, I’d have gotten you anything you wanted,” Tony said, changing the topic.

Steve looked startled, like he hadn’t expected Tony to bring up the obvious elephant in the room. Then his mouth twitched up into a small smirk. “No need, I like what I have now.”

Tony stared at him, completely thrown off by Steve’s response. He had expected the other man to take off his hoodie and was unprepared with the nonchalant answer he received.

“That’s good? I mean. It looks good on you- I… er, keep it!” He blurted out, fumbling for a coherent thought. He looked at the hoodie again. It wasn’t like he _really_ needed it and if Steve was going to wear it again… wear _his_ clothes around, well Tony was wise enough to not question a gift like that. Steve in his clothes was apparently another item on a long list of things Steve related things that Tony really liked.

“Thanks, I think I will. Listen, I’m going to be down in the city for a ball game later this week. Since you can’t make it up here all the time, how about you join me?” Steve asked. He’d stuffed his hands back into the hoodie pockets and bounced on his heels a little, the first nervous tick he’d shown in their conversation.

Tony opened his mouth to decline, because hanging out alone with Steve was absolutely off the table, but found himself saying the opposite instead. “Sure, I think I probably have some time. As the kids say, text me the deets. Or send a carrier pigeon, if that’s more your speed, old man.”

He winced at his lame response. It might be a bad idea to hang out with Steve but he found it hard to turn down the opportunity. Steve was nice like that, always trying to reach out to people. Tony knew he went to dinner at the Bartons’ every few weeks. This was probably his attempt at making sure Tony knew he was still ‘part of the team’.

“That’s great Tony, thank you. I’ll see if I can figure out how to use a cellphone before the end of the week,” Steve joked. The soft smile was back and Tony took a moment to really admire how Steve looked in his hoodie. The dark navy looked amazing against his pale complexion and he looked incredibly appealing and inviting in the soft, worn fabric. He had a warm, content expression on his face, his eyes slightly hooded, and his hair a little in disarray. He looked breathtakingly gorgeous and a part of Tony ached to reach out and touch him. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. All he could do was appreciate that Steve still considered him enough of a friend to want to see Tony.

“Well, I look forward to it. I gotta go. Work waits for no man,” Tony said, jerking his thumb behind him. He had to leave before his mouth went rogue and he asked if he could take a picture of Steve in his clothes.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Steve said.

-

“Wait, _Steve_ had your missing hoodie?” Pepper asked.

“Yes, I think he just likes how soft it. You know how nice it is,” Tony said, taking a bite out of his sandwich. He and Pepper were in his office having a working lunch. He’d updated Pepper on the status of his missing article of clothing since he had complained when he’d lost it. Tony was eternally grateful that he and Pepper were still friends despite their breakup. He, in a surprising twist, had called it quits after the Sokovia fiasco. Pepper had been surprised and he didn’t blame her. He’d quit the Avengers and superheroing and he no longer had the arc reactor; everything she had been worried about, he had taken care of. But, Tony was a mess and he didn’t want Pepper to feel burdened by his issues. There was also the little problem of him being in love with a certain Steven Grant Rogers.

“Yeah, I’m sure the softness of the hoodie is what he liked,” Pepper muttered, taking a drink out of her coffee cup.

“Well, I told him to keep it. I panicked, he looked so good in it!” Tony said, he absently initialed another paper from the legal department. He was also grateful that Pepper listened to him whine about Steve. He suspected she knew about his feelings, though they had never talked about it directly.

“Isn’t that nice of you. You could have just given him another one if he really liked it that much,” Pepper pointed out. She placed another page in front of Tony. She’d already highlighted the relevant sections. Even though she wasn’t his PA anymore, she still knew the fastest way to get Tony to do his work. He deeply appreciated her ability to run his company much better than he ever had.

“I did offer, but he said he liked mine. I think his uniform is really uncomfortable and he likes clothes that are the opposite of it. Do you think I should offer to make his costume more comfortable?” Tony asked.

Pepper rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you can be a genius and yet still be so stupid.”

Tony ignored her, his mind drifting to Steve’s uniform. Perhaps he could use a different kind of synthetic polymer to mimic how soft his hoodie was, without compromising the durability…

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a tap on his head.

“You can go back to designing toys for your friends after you finish this paperwork. I’m glad you found out where your hoodie went. Now, less chit chat and more signing,” Pepper said. She had a fond smile on her face and Tony returned it ruefully. She knew him so well.

They worked in silence for a bit longer, until the phone that Tony had carelessly thrown on his desk vibrated. His hand shot out and grabbed it and he eagerly unlocked it. It was from Steve.

_The game is at 7 on Friday. How about I pick you up at 5 and we get dinner before?_

Tony’s fingers flew over the keyboard.

_Oh good, you figured out how to work a phone. I was beginning to think I might be getting a letter. 5 sounds great, we can go to the shawarma place, the owners have been asking after you._

“Who’s that? Have a date? Should I be worried and get the PR department ready?” Pepper teased.

“Hmm? Oh no, it’s just Steve. We’re going to a baseball game later this week.”

Pepper raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you guys are getting close. First you’re sharing clothes and now a date?”

Tony snorted. “Nothing like that Ms. Potts, he’s just trying to make sure I still feel like a part of the team. Steve is all about making sure no one feels left out.”

Pepper sighed, setting down her empty coffee cup. “Seriously, I have no idea how I put up with how dense you can be. You can create a new element while dying but human relationships are really beyond you.”

“Well, I can’t be perfect. Steve’s just being a nice friend. I thought you’d be happy I’m not going out on a date with another enterprising journalist,” Tony said. He ignored Pepper’s implications because they were absurd. She didn’t know Steve at all, not like Tony did. Steve was straight and either was still pining after Peggy or starting something with a former SHIELD agent. He’d seen her around, as blonde and beautiful was Steve. The exact opposite of Tony.

“I won’t pry. As long as you’re happy,” Pepper said, raising her hands up.

They finished their work without another mention of Steve, but Tony kept glancing at his phone, both afraid and wishing that Steve would change his mind and cancel.

-

Friday rolled around around sooner than Tony was prepared for and at 4:30, he found himself pacing in front of his closet. Fashion was something he took comfort in, but the suits he carefully picked were useless for this outing. All his casual clothes were just various graphic tees, shirts, and jeans with grease stains on them.

“FRIDAY, do you think I can get a whole wardrobe delivered to be in the next twenty minutes?”

“I’m sorry Boss, but I’m not sure if we could get a whole wardrobe,” his AI said. Tony flopped backwards onto his bed, completely naked except for his boxers.

“This is ridiculous, I’m not a teenage girl and this isn’t a date. Steve won’t even notice what I wear,” he groused as he listlessly picked up a shirt next to his head. It was an ACDC shirt that he was pretty sure he’d bought at a concert years ago. He sniffed it, finding that it smelled like laundry detergent and got up to try it on. It was a little small on him, he wouldn't be able to layer it, but it was clean and didn’t have any holes in it. He shrugged and tugged on it on along with a pair of jeans. The whole ensemble was underwhelming but it wasn’t like Steve would care.

“Boss, Captain Rogers is requesting entrance,” FRIDAY informed him.

Tony wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, feeling ridiculously nervous for what would just be a friendly meeting with a former teammate. “Let him in and tell him I’ll be right down.”

A few minutes later, he found Steve in his living room. He was looking out the window at the setting sun, his back turned to Tony. He had a leather jacket, a baseball cap, and dark wash jeans on. Even from the back, he looked amazing, and Tony tried not to stare at his denim clad butt.

“Hey, you’re early,” Tony said, tapping his watch as he made his way over to join Steve at the window. The other man turned his head to look down at Tony and Tony saw he was wearing sunglasses as well.

“Nice shades, I didn’t realize we were trying to go incognito. Shall I get some glasses of my own?” Tony joked.

Steve removed his sunglasses, looking a bit sheepish. “Sorry, I was riding my motorcycle and the sun was in my eyes. Beautiful view you got here. I missed it,” Steve said, tilting his head towards the window. They both turned to look back at the sunset.

“It’s not bad. The Tower is a bit lonely without everyone else. The lower levels are all offices now, but uh, after Pepper and I didn’t work out I decided I could still use the top half as my living space.”

“You could always come live with us,” Steve teased, his eyes back on Tony. Tony avoided his gaze and fiddled with the hem of his shirt, tugging it down as it rode up.

“The commute to the office would be terrible. I think I’m fine where I am,” Tony said. He looked over at Steve again, staring at the white shirt Steve had on under his jacket. It hugged his pecs, and Tony could see his nipples poking through the thin fabric. He swallowed. “You look nice.”

“You do too,” Steve said. Tony met his gaze and saw the sincerity there and bit his tongue to keep back a retort.

“Hmm, I think we both know who’s the GQ cover model here. Well, time's a wastin’, let’s go before they give away our favorite table,” Tony said.

“Should I have Happy drop us off?” He asked as they made their way to the elevators. Steve shook his head.

“No, we’ll take my bike if it’s all the same to you. Think you can slum it for a few hours with me?” Steve asked, his tone teasing. Tony marveled at how forgiving and kind Steve could be. Not that long ago, he and Steve had come to blows over stupid decisions Tony had made, but Steve had moved on and nothing in their friendship had changed. In fact, it seemed like Steve made even more of an effort to try to reach out to Tony. Tony’s resolve to quit the team and distance himself stood no chance against Steve’s sincere requests.

“I used to drive race cars, Rogers, I think I can handle riding a motorcycle,” Tony quipped back. He pressed the button for the street level. Steve knew he could use the garage but for some reason the man always insisted on parking on the street.

“Steve.”

Tony startled. “Huh?”

“You call me Rogers or Cap too much. My friends call me Steve,” Steve said, nudging Tony’s shoulder with his own.

“Steve. Right. Of course, I’m your friend,” Tony said, he tugged on his shirt again, wishing he wasn’t so awkward whenever Steve said something kind.

They made their way out of the Tower and Tony shook his head as he saw Steve’s motorcycle parked right in front. The other man tossed him a helmet and soon they were on their way. Tony had his arms wrapped Steve’s body, clinging on hard as he took crazy turns, weaving through the New York traffic with ease. The summer air was warm but Tony shivered as the breeze turned cold at the speeds they were going. He tried not to cuddle into Steve’s back but he found he couldn’t resist the urge to lean into Steve’s heat.

They made it to the restaurant at 5 on the dot and Steve parked his motorcycle in the employee only lot. There were perks to bringing in business. The owners were always eager for them them stop by.

They were ushered to their usual table and the waiter didn’t even bother to take their order. The other patrons didn’t look their way; it was well known that the owners would kick out anyone who bothered their famous guests. Tony, who always craved the ability to be enjoy a meal like a normal person, appreciated the small respite.

He picked up a salt shaker and rolled it between his fingers, watching as Steve looked around the restaurant. His gaze lingered on a framed picture of the original Avengers right after the Battle of New York.

“I miss that time, sometimes. Things were simpler then,” Steve mused.

Tony snorted. “Yes, fighting aliens led by a crazy Norse God. If that’s simple, I don’t want to think of what is complicated for you, Steve. If anything, I would think you’d miss being back in the 40’s.”

“I don’t know Tony. I miss things before SHIELD turned out to be half HYDRA, when we all were still together,” Steve said. He emphasized together and Tony wondered if the breakup of the original team was like losing the Howlies all over again for Steve.

“Well, you still have a pretty solid group. You’ve got Natasha and Sam, and I’ve heard you guys are a pretty amazing team.” Tony tried not to sound jealous. It seemed like Steve clicked instantly with everyone except him.

“And if you accepted my help, I could help you find your old buddy,” Tony added a bit tentatively. He set the salt shaker down and risked a quick glance at Steve’s face. He looked like he’d been punched and Tony felt immediate regret. For whatever reason, Steve had refused Tony’s repeated requests to help him search for Bucky Barnes and Tony just had to poke that hornet’s nest.

Steve took a drink from his glass as Tony desperately tried to think of a way to take back his words. Before he could say anything, Steve cleared his throat.

“I appreciate your offers, Tony, please believe that I do. But this is one thing I need to do by myself.”

Tony bit the inside of cheek to stop the instinctual need to remind Steve that Natasha and Sam were allowed to help him. It was another reminder that Steve might tell him that he trusted him and considered him a friend, but there was clearly a line between Tony and his _real_ friends. The thought darkened his mood and he cursed himself again for bringing up the awkward topic.

“Well, you know where I am if you ever need me,” Tony threw out, hating that he was practically begging Steve to rely on him.

“Of course,” Steve said non committedly. He still looked uncomfortable, his shoulders tense under his jacket and his jaw twitching like he was clenching his teeth.

“Did I tell you, I’m trying to redesign your uniform?” Tony said as a complete non sequitur, desperately trying to recover the good mood of their evening earlier.

“What’s wrong with that I have now?” Steve asked. He looked relieved at the topic change, his shoulders relaxing a fraction.

“Nothing, since I made it, obviously. I was just thinking, I could make it more comfortable,” Tony offered. They were interrupted by the arrival of their food and they both spent a few minutes digging in. The table was more than half covered by Steve’s usual orders and Tony watched in fascination as the other man practically inhaled his food. Steve’s metabolism never failed to amaze him.

“Why do you think it needs to be more comfortable?” Steve asked after he polished off one plate.

“Oh, well you know, I noticed you like soft comfortable stuff. Like my hoodie,” Tony said in rush.

Steve’s fork paused mid way to his mouth as he bit his lip and blushed. Tony couldn’t stop himself from staring at the redness as it spread from Steve’s cheeks to his ears, his fair Irish skin displaying his embarrassment like a beacon. Tony had the absurd urge to lean over and tug Steve’s lip from his teeth and ask how far the blush went.

“Oh, the hoodie. Yes, it's very comfortable, thanks for letting me keep it. I didn’t know it was yours,” Steve said and he averted his eyes, looking down at the food on his fork like it was a very interesting mission report. The blush was still splashed across his face and his lips was shiny with saliva. Tony’s heart was racing and he dug his nails into his palms so he wouldn’t actually reach out and touch Steve like he ached to do.

“Like I said, it’s fine. But, I could make your uniform more comfortable, I’m sure of it. Offer is still on the table,” Tony insisted. He was pretty sure if Steve asked for his own Iron Man suit with Falcon’s wings, he would drop everything and work on it right away. It was ridiculous how eager he was to be useful to Steve.

“I think you probably have more important things to do than work on my uniform,” Steve said. He’d managed to fight his blush down and resumed eating.

Tony made a scoffing noise as he ate his own food. “I’m offended that you don’t think I could upgrade your uniform _and_ handle the rest of my responsibilities. Super genius, remember?”

“I don’t want to add any more work to your load. I’m sure you’re keeping a completely reasonable sleep schedule, so I wouldn’t want to derail you from that,” Steve said. He met Tony’s eyes with a small grin on his face. They both knew that Tony was perpetually burning his candle at both ends.

Tony pretended to be offended. “I see what this is! Did Rhodey put you up to this? Here I thought you were asking to hang out because you missed me, but really you’re just being paid to babysit me!”

“Maybe it’s both? Tony-wrangling is a full time job, but hanging out with you is an added perk. I’m surprised more people don’t volunteer.”

Tony’s food went down the wrong way and he started choking. He hadn’t expected Steve’s response and as he frantically drank water to clear his throat, he contemplated the possibility that Steve was… _flirting_? He tried to dismiss the thought because it was too ridiculous to consider. Steve had an amazing amount of sass for someone who exuded wholesome energy. He was obviously trying to get a little rise out of Tony.

“I’ve been told I’m a handful. Most people walk away. But nevermind that, I’m telling you, I’ve been meaning to give your suit some upgrades and this is the perfect opportunity.” Tony neatly dodged addressing Steve’s words and tried to steer the conversation to safer topics.

They spent the rest of the meal discussing Tony’s theoretical improvements to Steve’s uniform. When the bill came Steve insisted on paying, stealing the receipt and hustling to the cash register before Tony could put up a fight. Tony watched as Steve pulled honest-to-God bills from his wallet. In a world that ran on credit cards and paperless transactions, Steve still preferred the old and the established to the new and changing. They were complete opposites, Tony thought, and yet, here they were, friends against all odds.

They had thirty minutes to get to Yankee Stadium but Tony knew Steve would drive like a maniac and probably find them a perfect parking spot. He shivered as they left the restaurant, wishing that he had thought to bring a jacket.

He was startled by the feel of something warm settling onto his shoulders and he looked down to see that Steve had taken off his leather jacket and draped it around him. The jacket was warmed by Steve’s body and smelled divine, like a concentrated dose of Steve’s uniquely masculine scent.

“You looked cold and I run warm,” Steve said, answering Tony’s inquisitive look.

“I don’t need it, it’s summer, I’ll be fine,” Tony protested weakly, but his hands were already adjusting the jacket so he could slip his arms through the sleeves. The jacket was huge on him, his fingers barely peeking past the cuffs. Tony knew he probably looked ridiculous but he couldn’t help but clutch it closer to his body. He surreptitiously took a sniff of the leather, letting Steve’s scent linger in his nose.

“It’s fine, plus I have long sleeves,” Steve said when Tony looked back at him. His thin white henley clung to his muscles, his abs on display with each breath he took. Tony felt a faint rushing in his ears, overwhelmed by the situation. He both blessed and cursed every deity that allowed him to be alive right now, in the middle of New York City, wearing Steve Rogers’ jacket, while ogling him in his painted on shirt.

Steve’s own gaze seemed fixed upon where Tony clutched at his jacket and the blush was back. Without the jacket in the way, Tony could see as it crept down Steve’s face and disappeared into the neck of his shirt. He was a full body blusher, Tony noticed with a faint note of hysteria.

“We should get going, don’t want to be late,” Steve said after a moment and Tony realized they’d been standing in front of Steve’s bike for several minutes. He adjusted the jacket and climbed on behind Steve after the other man mounted his motorcycle. He could feel every minute shift of Steve’s muscles under his shirt as he eased the bike onto the road. He shivered, not from the cold, but with the faint feeling of arousal that was beginning to stir in his gut.

He was in trouble.

-

They arrived at the stadium just as the game was beginning and had to walk a few blocks as Steve’s famous parking luck finally failed. Steve produced printed tickets from his back pocket and Tony teased him, asking him who taught him how to work the printer.

They had decent seats, but not the box seats that Tony probably would have sprung for. They settled in after Tony bought them both beers, something he insisted on paying for. Steve bought three hot dogs from a vendor almost right away and Tony tried not to stare as the other man ate one with undisguised glee.

“I’d like to know what the army’s budget was for feeding you,” Tony said. He felt slightly queasy as he recalled how much Steve had already eaten at dinner.

Steve chuckled. “Believe it or not, I always had a big appetite. Bucky always-”

He froze and cut himself off. Tony almost swore under his breath. Steve rarely talked about his past and especially never about Bucky.

“Oh? You were like this before the serum?” Tony prompted. He nudged his elbow against Steve’s side, hoping to entice him into continuing.

Steve cleared his throat, visibly swallowed, and continued. “Bucky always said that he didn’t know where I put it. I could eat four of these at a ball game. We had to save up, but we always went all out when we managed to scrape up the money.”

“Not the cheap date I took you for, Steve,” Tony said slyly. “What was that? 50 cents back in the day?”

Steve seemed to relax at Tony’s teasing and he resumed eating, washing the first hot dog down with a gulp of beer.

“A lot cheaper than now, I’ll tell you. I can’t believe you paid seven dollars for these,” Steve complained, wiggling his plastic cup of beer.

“What can I say, you’re worth the money,” Tony said, winking exaggeratedly.

Steve blushed again and as close as they were, Tony could feel the heat radiating off of Steve’s body. He hid his pleased grin behind his own cup of beer.

A moment later, the whole crowd erupted into screams at whatever was happening on the field and both Steve and Tony turned their focus back to the game. It was the Dodgers against the Yankees and Tony realized he and Steve were probably the only people cheering for the Dodgers. He found he didn’t care, whooping along with Steve against the dismay of the crowd as the Dodgers stole a base.

Several innings in, Tony had joined Steve in munching and bought a bag of peanuts. He had to roll up the sleeves up the leather jacket so they wouldn’t hinder his fingers as he broke into the shells of his snack. He shoved one falling cuff up his arm and noticed that Steve was looking at him with a fond expression on his face.

“What? Something on my face?” Tony asked, scrubbing at his goatee with his unoccupied hand.

Steve shook his head. “I was just thinking that you look like me in Buck’s clothes. His mom used to give me his hand me downs but they were always too big on me.”

Tony made a carefully inquisitive noise, trying not to sound too eager. He chanced a glance at Steve and was startled when their gazes met. He smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging manner.

“One time Bucky gave me this shirt and it fit too well, you know? He was a prankster, so I knew something was up. But I liked the shirt, it fit better than the other stuff his mom was sending me, so I wore it to church. Mom and I, we usually went with the Barnes family, we took up a whole row, and his sisters were looking at me real funny. After mass was over, I finally cornered Buck and asked him why his sisters were laughing at me and I uh- well, it turned out, I was wearing his older sister’s shirt. Bucky didn’t let me live that down for years.”

Tony couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that escaped at the story. “I feel like I would have liked your friend.” He could almost see Steve in his mind, tiny and furiously angry at Bucky. He’d read the stories and knew that Steve had been a scrappy but fierce fighter and he wished he’d been able to meet that Steve. He felt irrationally jealous of anyone who had known Steve before him.

Steve’s smile dimmed at Tony’s words and he turned away to look at the game. His posture was tense again and Tony felt lost, unsure of what minefield he’d triggered.

“I wish that too, Tony. I think you would have liked him. Before, I mean,” Steve muttered. He didn’t meet Tony’s eyes and he seemed to shut down, his open demeanor shuttering until Tony was left with Captain America rather than Steve Rogers.

The rest of the game passed in silence and Steve didn’t even look happy when his team won. Tony stewed in his own misery, calling himself an idiot and a fool for ruining Steve’s good mood. He wasn’t sure what he had done, but it was clearly his fault.

-

“Thank you for coming with me to the game,” Steve told Tony as he dropped him back at the tower.

“It’s so late and the drive back is so long, especially on a bike, you sure you don’t want to stay?” Tony asked. He fiddled with the helmet in his hands, hesitant to allow the other man to drive off with the mood still sour between them. “I have a couple of Dodgers’ games saved.”

Steve seemed to hesitate, shifting on his bike indecisively.

“It _is_ a long drive,” he said, chewing on his lip.

Tony jumped at the opening. “It is and honestly, I still have a lot of your stuff here. You can stay in the guest bedroom in my suite. I’ll fly you and your bike back in the morning.”

“Okay, but only for the baseball highlights,” Steve joked.

They wheeled his bike into Tony’s garage and discussed the game as they made their way back to the penthouse.

“I can’t believe they moved to Los Angeles though. They were a Brooklyn team!” Steve complained as they arrived at Tony’s floor.

“Welcome back, boss; Captain Rogers,” FRIDAY said as they stepped into the living room.

“FRIDAY, pull up the saved Dodgers’ games and queue them on the screen in the living room,” Tony instructed. He walked to the kitchen and pulled open the fridge, peering inside.

“On it boss,” FRIDAY said as Steve walked up behind Tony and looked over his shoulder. He was standing so close, that Tony could feel the heat of his body against his back.

“What are you looking for? Even I’m pretty full by now.”

“Oh, nothing to eat, I was hoping I had milk that isn’t expired. Turns out I do. Get ready Steve, I’m about to make my mom’s world famous hot chocolate,” Tony bragged as he snagged a carton of whole milk. He stepped backwards and twitched when his back met Steve’s warm chest. He twisted around to look at the other man and was startled to find Steve’s expression twisted into something regretful.

“You okay there, Cap?” Tony asked, stepping back so he could look at Steve more fully.

“Steve,” Steve whispered and his face morphed into a less than genuine smile, but he stepped back and allowed Tony to squeeze around him towards the stove.

“Right, Steve. Sorry, hard habit to break,” Tony said, as he grabbed a pot from a drawer. He turned and rummaged around one of his side cupboards until he found cinnamon sticks, unsweetened cocoa powder, sugar, and vanilla extract.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Steve said, as he observed Tony heating up the milk and the cinnamon stick.

Tony rolled his eyes. “This is hardly cooking. It’s just a quick recipe that my mother taught me when I was a kid.”

Steve was silent as they both watched the milk heat up.

“You don’t talk about them much,” he finally said. “Your parents, I mean.”

It was Tony’s turn to stiffen and he paused in stirring the milk and cinnamon stick. He laid the wooden spoon on the counter and took a deep breath.

“It’s not something I like to talk about,” he said cagily. He wiped his face with his hand, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

“I understand, Tony,” Steve said quietly from behind him. Tony almost flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder, but as the warmth seeped through the jacket he wore, he felt himself relax. In a way, Steve was one of the few people that truly understood the loss that Tony had experienced and his words were comforting rather than token condolences.

“Thank you. Anyway, this is one of my mom’s recipes so I hope you like it,” Tony said with false levity. He picked up the spoon and stirred the milk again. Steve squeezed his shoulder firmly and then dropped his hand and they both stood in companionable silence.

Once the hot chocolate was done, Tony poured it into two cups and directed them toward the couches in the living room.

“FRIDAY, start the first game,” Tony instructed.

“This is good,” Steve said, taking a sip of out of his cup. He’d curled himself into one end of the couch, but his legs were stretched out next to him and they bumped into Tony’s thighs. Neither of them commented on it, but Tony couldn’t help but slouch in a manner that connected them together more fully.

“It’s one of the only things I can make without burning down the kitchen. Pepper likes to joke that I am selective about my culinary skills,” Tony said, taking a sip from his own cup. He let the taste wash over him, remembering a long cherished memory of his mother smoothing down his hair as he drank greedily from the glass she had brought down to his makeshift lab. He blinked away the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes, swallowing down the lump in his throat with another sip of chocolate.

“Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Steve wasn’t looking at him, ostensibly focused on the game on the screen, but his toes dug lightly into Tony’s thighs and Tony leaned into the touch. They sipped their drinks and watched the game, both of them relaxing more and more as the night progressed. Tony idly answered work emails on his phone, occasionally looking up when the recorded crowd cheered particularly loudly. He snuck glances at Steve and found his heart warming at the way the other man seemed so interested in the game.

Tony lost himself in an R&D proposal for SI’s new green energy initiative in India, and didn’t pay attention to his surroundings until FRIDAY’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“The game is over, should I queue a new one?”

Tony shook himself, stretching out his cramping legs and then glanced to his side. Steve had fallen asleep at some point, his empty cup clutched in his hands and his head tucked into his chest. He looked so young and vulnerable, his face relaxed and his body loose in a way that Tony usually never saw. The dim lights from the lamps around them cast shadows across his face, his eyelashes fanning across his cheeks. He looked younger than ever and Tony rubbed his own aging face with one hand. He didn’t want to wake Steve up, but his current position could not be comfortable.

“FRIDAY, dismiss the rest of the queue,” Tony instructed as he shifted closer to Steve. Unfortunately, his legs were asleep and the sensation of pins and needles had him stumbling until he fell across Steve’s lap. Steve, ever the soldier, woke up immediately, his hands coming up to clutch Tony’s arms. The empty cup tumbled to the floor.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. You fell asleep here and I was thinking you might like to sleep in a bed better?” Tony said, staying perfectly still as Steve’s eyes slowly focused on him. He tried not to wince at the grip Steve had on his arms or notice that he was sprawled across Steve’s lap.

“Tony?”

“Yep big guy, it’s me,” Tony said, keeping his voice even and measured. “You fell asleep, are you ready to go to your room?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Tony, really, I enjoyed myself,” Steve said, awareness creeping into his eyes. He got up slowly, pulling Tony up along with him and then dropping his arms when they were both upright.

Tony waved his hand. “You obviously needed the sleep. I got some work down anyway. How about I show you your room?”

Tony took Steve to the guest room and instructed FRIDAY to help Steve with anything he might need. He turned into his own room afterwards and hesitated as he finished getting ready for bed. He’d changed out of all his clothes and Steve’s jacket was draped over a chair. He wavered between his bed and the jacket for several moments before he finally grabbed the jacket and slipped it onto his bare torso. If he fell asleep with his nose buried in the collar of the coat, that was no one else’s business but his own.

-

The next morning, he was woken up by FRIDAY’s voice.

“Boss, Captain Rogers would like you in the kitchen.”

“Wha? What time is it?” Tony grumbled as he stumbled out of bed. He had enough sense to haphazardly remove the jacket and slip into gym shorts and a loose long sleeved shirt.

“It’s 8 am,” FRIDAY supplied as Tony made his way to the kitchen. Sure enough, Steve was there, his back turned to the hallway. Tony froze as he saw what Steve was wearing. Gone were his jeans, instead he was wearing a pair of sweatpants with a faded MIT logo across his ass. The pants, which were marginally big on Tony, rode up on Steve’s legs like strange capris, but they seemed to fit perfectly around his waist.

“Oh hey Tony, I hope you don’t mind if I cook?” Steve asked as he turned around. Luckily he still had his shirt on, though it was wrinkled. Steve’s hair was also in complete disarray. He looked adorably sleep mussed and Tony’s heart squeezed at the sight. He rubbed at his chest absently as he made his way over to join Steve at the stovetop.

“I usually don’t eat breakfast, so by all means, please cook for me. I have to say, this is one of the best morning afters I’ve ever had,” Tony said, unable to resist the small innuendo that slipped out.

Steve didn’t respond but Tony could see he had a blush staining the back of his neck as he fiddled at the stovetop. Tony walked over to another counter and made himself a cup of coffee, punching in the settings he liked into his fancy coffee maker. He leaned against the opposite counter from Steve and watched the other man cook.

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

Steve shrugged his shoulders as he scooped out two portions onto clean plates by his elbow. “I don’t really, but I have a few recipes. It’s nothing like Thai food, but I think I bring in my own flair.”

Steve turned and gave Tony a plate full of fluffy scrambled eggs, cubed potatoes, mixed veggies, and sausages.

“I didn’t even know I had all these ingredients,” Tony said in amazement. He grabbed a fork and took a big bite and moaned in pleasure. His eyes fluttered shut as he tasted the amazing flavors that Steve had created.

“Oh my God. If this superhero business doesn’t work out, you have a future as a chef,” Tony said, taking another careful fork full.

Steve ducked his head, looking entirely too modest for the food masterpiece he’d created, in Tony’s humble opinion. Tony shoveled more of the food into his mouth, hardly pausing to breathe in between bites. He wondered who had taught Steve how to cook.

“This is nothing. You should try the borscht that Nat makes or Sam’s pancakes. You’re always welcome to join us,” Steve said as he dug into his own plate.

“That sounds inciting, but maybe I should just keep you as as my personal cook,” Tony said, spearing a perfectly cooked wedge of potato and bringing it to eye level. He twisted it this way and that, before popping it into his mouth. He resisted the urge to let out another groan, as whatever spices Steve had used exploded across his tongue.

“I have a pretty demanding day job, so I can’t promise I’d be able to do it full time. But if you ever want me to stop by sporadically, I’m your man,” Steve said as he scrapped the last of his food off the plate. He didn’t seem to notice that Tony’s old sweatpants rode up on his legs, though Tony was sure it couldn’t be comfortable.

“Well, it would beat the smoothies that DUM-E has been trying to feed me,” Tony joked. He carried his plate over to the sink and held his hand out for Steve’s. He watched his hands as they methodically cleaned the two plates, hardly wincing as the dish soap washed over the small nicks and scrapes on his hands. He didn’t move when Steve settled next to him, handing dishes for Steve to rinse and dry. The whole moment felt domestic and a part of Tony ached acutely, wishing this was his normal routine.

“I should get going,” Steve said after they cleaned the kitchen and put away their dishes. He sounded regretful and they both lingered, neither making a move towards their respective rooms. Their strange stalemate was interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Captain Rogers, Ms. Romanoff would like to remind you that you’ll be leading a training exercise in two hours.”

Steve rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks FRIDAY, I guess let her know I’m on my way.”

Ten minutes later, Tony was helping Steve load his bike onto the quinjet. He’d meant to fly Steve himself, but he’d forgotten he had his own commitments that day and he could only send the other man off.

“I hope you know how to fly one of these,” Tony teased, knowing full well that Steve could fly almost anything. “I’ll pick it up on my next trip to the compound.”

“Speaking of which, we have a team dinner next week. I think Clint might even be coming and since Colonel Rhodes is still out, we could really use someone to represent the armored suit unit of our team,” Steve said.

“I’ll think about it but you know how it is, I’m always busy. You’re more than welcome to stop by again. Don’t be a stranger,” Tony said, avoiding committing to the dinner plans. It was one thing to hang out with Steve and completely another to hang out with the rest of the team.

“I think that’s my line, Tony. Thank you so much for spending the day with me, I hope we can do it again soon,” Steve said. His gaze was so earnest that Tony had to look away, feeling guilty that he didn’t make more of an effort to see the other man.

“I enjoyed it too, maybe next time we’ll do something I like,” Tony joked. He finally stepped back and allowed Steve to raise the ramp. The quinjet lifted off and Tony stared at it until it turned into a speck in the sky.

It was only after he returned to his room to get ready for the day that he realized he still had Steve’s leather jacket and Steve still had his sweatpants.


	2. Chapter 2

“Two visits within a week? Aren’t we lucky,” Nat said when Tony landed on the grounds of the compound. He’d opted to fly rather than take one of his cars, craving the adrenaline rush he got from being in the suit again.

“I’m just here to take back my plane. I might have heard there was also a chance that I could taste your home cooking,” Tony said as he walked up to meet Natasha, surprised she was the one to greet him.

“Well, I’m sorry you were brought here under false pretenses, it’s Wanda’s turn to cook.”

Tony flinched at the mention of Wanda. She caused him to feel a strange mix of guilt and fear. He could still remember her accusations, the blank way she’d recounted how his weapons had destroyed her life. She was a constant reminder that just because he had changed, it didn’t mean that his actions and inactions wouldn’t continue to have far reaching consequences. Tony Stark was never, _ever_ going to be able to atone for his crimes against humanity.

He also feared Wanda and the vision she had given him. It was what had caused him to create Ultron but he couldn’t blame her. If he had only trusted in his team instead of trying to play God again… Wanda was a reminder to Tony of all the ways he had failed and all the ways he would probably continue to fail.

He followed Natasha into the compound and then stripped off his armor, grateful that he’d worn normal clothes instead of his flight suit. He scrubbed a hand through his sweaty hair and grimaced when he looked at himself in the locker room mirrors. It had been a rough week and he’d hardly gotten any sleep and it showed. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hands were covered in burn marks from the latest upgrade he’d made to his suit. He splashed some water on his face and tried to tame his curling hair, slicking it back with the water. With one last look, he made his way to the shared living area.

“I think only people who have actually eaten food should be allowed in the kitchen,” Sam was saying, as he blocked Vision from looking at whatever was bubbling on the stovetop.

“I would like to observe what makes food palatable so I know what will be pleasing should I ever need to make dinner for all of you,” Vision protrested. He was wearing one of the sweater and slacks combos that he seemed fond of. It was still a little painful to hear JARVIS’ voice coming from Vision’s body, but Tony genuinely liked the new superhero.

“I don’t think anyone will expect you to cook, buddy, but you can set the table. Can you add an extra place, we’re expecting-” Steve was cut off as Tony made his presence known.

“You’re expecting me, your generous benefactor. Love the sweater Vision, is it new?” Tony drawled as he ambled into the room. He looked around, feeling like he was interrupting a family dinner. Wanda was at the stove, stirring something that smelled wonderful, a cookbook open on the counter next to her. Sam was pushing Vision out of the kitchen, and Steve was retrieving plates from the cupboards. The only person missing was Natasha, who snuck up behind him and poked him hard on his back, propelling him forward.

Tony joined the team, taking a glass of milk that Sam offered him. He almost dropped it when Steve turned around and he realized the other man was wearing his hoodie again. It looked cleaner; Steve had clearly washed it recently. Tony’s mouth watered at the thought of his sweater smelling like Steve.

“It’s his favorite thing to wear now,” Sam revealed as he placed a bowl full of salad in the middle of the dining room table. “I was actually gonna ask if you had any more of those lying around. They must be pretty comfortable.”

Steve was blushing but he met Tony’s eyes with a smile. “Thank you for joining us Tony. It’s real good to see you again.”

“I thought Barton was going to be here too?” Tony asked, trying to peel his eyes away from Steve’s chest. It was hard to concentrate on words when Steve had the hoodie haphazardly bunched up his arms, displaying his strong forearms.

“Our Clint has turned domestic and had to bring his daughter to a birthday party,” Nat said. Her voice was fond as she talked about her friend.

Tony smiled and took a drink of milk and then held out the glass in confusion. “Why are we drinking milk like we’re in grade school? Not that I don’t think half of you have the mentality of children, but this seems to be pushing it a little far.”

“Captain Rogers suggested the team drink a glass a day to encourage strong bones and quick healing,” Vision said. He was methodically setting the table and politely waited for people to move out of the way before arranging each setting.

“It’s what the nutritionist recommended and I figured it couldn’t hurt,” Steve defended. He had his hands shoved into the hoodie pockets again, his posture hunched, as if he expected Tony to ridicule him.

Tony felt bad, he knew Steve cared deeply for the team and spent countless hours ruminating over their health, training, and safety. Of course he was attentive enough to worry about things as mundane as bone density. Tony knocked back the rest of the milk in one long gulp, wiping his wet lips with the back of a hand, and handed the cup back to Sam.

“Could you get me more? If anyone needs more healthy choices in their life, it’s me.”

“Get your own, you aren’t a guest, you own the damn place.” Sam shoved the glass back at Tony.

“The food is done so if everyone would get out of the way, I’m moving the pot to the table,” Wanda announced. She had the pot hovering in the air in front of her, her hands sparking with red energy.

“That seems like an abuse of power,” Tony pointed out but moved out of the path of the pot like everyone one else. He snagged the jug of milk from the refrigerator and brought it back to the table after Wanda placed her prize down.

It looked to be some sort of white sauce based pasta; there were also breadsticks glistening with oil and herbs, as well as the salad Sam had placed earlier. The entire meal smelled amazing, and Tony’s stomach gave a loud gurgle. He hadn’t eaten all day and it was fairly late into the evening.

“Well, I think that’s our cue to dig in,” Steve said and they all took their spots.

The evening passed pleasantly and Tony found himself engrossed in a conversation with Vision about the powers of the mind stone. It was amazing how much the new superhero was learning and adapting to the new world and Tony wistfully thought that Bruce would have appreciated watching Vision grow.

Halfway through the meal, Tony felt a nudge against his foot and he moved his feet away, only to feel it again. He glanced curiously to his left side, where Steve was animatedly discussing something with Sam. He didn’t seem to notice that the way that his legs were sprawled brought his feet right up to Tony. Tony was tempted to wiggle his feet to get a reaction from the other man, but instead he let it lay there, not twitching a muscle as Steve’s foot tapped gently against his shoe.

Clean up was quick and Tony stretched, fully intending to make his excuses and leave. As much as he had enjoyed the evening, it only served to highlight his own loneliness and he knew that if he spent more time with the team, all the reasons that he should stay away would seem less important.

“We usually watch a movie after team dinner. It’s Sam’s turn to pick and he chose Top Gun. Why don’t you stay for that?” Steve asked as soon as Tony began to make his excuses to leave.

“Yeah man, we never see you, come chill for a while. Captain Serious over here might even let us have something stronger than milk,” Sam added.

Tony looked around, no one seemed sick of his presence and the mood was so light and buoyant he was reluctant to leave and go back to his cold, impersonal tower.

“Sure, why not, I can’t turn down a classic like that. Did you know, Steven Spielberg approached me to ask if they could make a movie about Iron Man? He wanted to cast Tom Cruise as me. Pepper shot it down but I always thought the casting choice was spot on,” Tony revealed.

The team clearly had assigned seats because they all settled quickly while Tony hovered. Steve tugged him down to sit between him and Nat on a large couch, the squeeze tight enough that all their legs brushed together. Natasha shifted so she wasn’t crowding him but Steve spread his legs wider, almost overlapping their legs. Tony sat carefully still but couldn’t ignore the brand of heat Steve was against his side. He hardly paid attention to the movie, hyper aware of every shift of Steve’s body against his own.

The tension didn’t fade from his body until the movie was over and he got up quickly, pretending he had to stretch his legs out. He was gearing up to make excuses to finally leave when he felt a touch on his back and he spun around to see Steve with his arm extended. The rest of the team were in various stages of getting up. Sam seemed to be arguing a movie point with Vision while Wanda and Natasha were gathering up empty glasses and returning them to the kitchen. “What can I do for you, old man?” Tony asked. He arched his back and felt it crack satisfyingly and ignored the amused look Steve gave him.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my room to discuss some things? I figured I’d save an email since you’re here,” Steve said. He was picking at the arm of the couch, scratching the leather with a blunt nail. “It’s okay if you have to go, but it's not often I get to catch you without going to FRIDAY’s impressive scheduling process.”

Despite Tony’s best attempts, he couldn’t help but smile. He had told FRIDAY to make his scheduling hard as possible and he liked that Steve still tried the formal routes, instead of just texting Tony. “That’s my FRIDAY. Well, I guess it can’t hurt to talk while we’re both here,” Tony conceded. He was so weak when it came to Steve and he avoided looking at anyone else in the room, sure that they all knew how much of a sucker he was for Steve.

“Lead the way, Cap,” Tony said and followed Steve out of the room. Someone, who suspiciously sounded like Sam, said, “Oh thank god, they’re taking the flirting somewhere private.” Tony blushed and stumbled. He wished everyone would pretend that they weren’t aware of his pining and he was sure that Steve felt uncomfortable at the insinuations.

They made their way to the room that Tony had specifically designed for Steve, not that he’d ever told the other man. It had east facing windows that overlooked the cliff where the compound was situated; he knew from personal experience that the view of the rising sun was spectacular. He knew he was pathetic, designing a room to give Steve the best possible view but it had been worth the work when Steve had offhandedly mentioned how much he loved watching the colors of the dawn sky bloom across his window.

“What can I do you for?” Tony asked as he wandered around the room. He’d left the decorating to Steve and he hadn’t been here since the Avengers first moved in, and he wanted to see how Steve had chosen to fill his living space. It was fairly spartan, the walls a muted shade of slate and the hardwood floors covered in a dark blue rug. It matched the comforter on Steve’s bed, which was neatly made. His desk was neat with a shut laptop on it’s mostly bare surface and there wasn’t even a dirty sock on the ground. The only area of the room with even the hint of a mess was a corner desk with several sketch books and numerous art supplies spilled across its surface. There were papers on the chair, with half filled sketches that Tony walked over to examine. Some of them were landscape but most were little snapshots of the team including, he was surprised to see, himself. The whole corner looked lived in and Tony was willing to bet that this was where Steve spent the most time.

Steve who had been watching Tony’s progress through his room, finally came to stand next to Tony as he looked at a drawing of the team after a battle. He was there too, clad in his armor but with his faceplate up and he was grinning at Steve but had an arm clung over Rhodey’s armored shoulder. “I like sketching the team. They never sit still long enough for me to really draw them so I have to draw from memory.”

Tony lightly brushed a finger over the rough surface of the paper and then set it down on the cluttered desk. “You’re a really good artist, you could probably sell these; though I’m sure people would buy a stick figure drawing if Captain America was the one to draw it.” He didn’t miss the bashful expression on Steve’s face. He was always reluctant to share his art with others, though he sometimes gave little sketches to kids he visited at the hospital as Captain America.

“I don’t know about that, Tony, but I’m glad you like them.” He drew Tony away from his art table with a tap on his arm toward his bed, which was the only spot they could both sit. “I should really buy you a couch,” Tony said and Steve chuckled.

“I can buy my own couch, Tony. In case you haven’t heard, the government owes me over 70 years of a war pension and there’s this billionaire who won’t let me pay for anything. I’m not as rich as you, but I get by,” Steve teased. His expression turned a bit more serious and he picked at the an unravelling piece of string on the cuff of Tony’s hoodie. “You know, Tony, that I still consider you part of the team, right?”

Tony nodded, wondering if this was going to be another pitch from Steve to re-join the team. The man hadn’t outright asked him but he made it clear that he would really love it if Tony went on missions with them again. Tony so far had dodged his hints and he had a sinking feeling that Steve was going to force the issue. Logically he knew that his resistance was confusing for Steve and the rest of the team. Pepper’s disapproval no longer mattered and he could easily step back from his responsibilities at the company, but Tony didn’t trust himself on the team, not yet, and maybe not ever.

“Of course, once an Avenger, always an Avenger,” Tony said, warily. He wished he had something in his own hands to distract himself, but he was forced to clasp his hands together, though his leg jiggled with nervous energy. He felt trapped, cornered, and not at all ready for this conversation, especially not from Steve, whom he felt he had failed personally with Ultron. Tony Stark didn’t do emotions, he locked them away and asked for forgiveness through his actions.

“It’s more than that Tony; I was serious when I told you I was home. I never thought that I’d have a home again, after I woke up from the ice, but the team has become the family that I never thought I’d have again,” Steve said quietly. He was talking into at his hands as he fiddled with the hoodie. Tony almost held his breath. He felt like he never got to see this vulnerable side of Steve as the man usually dodged questions about his well being. He didn’t know where the conversation was going but he leaned forward in anticipation.

“What I’m trying to say is, the Avengers have given me a home and a family and I hope you realize that you were a huge part of that. You built us a home, you saved the remnants of SHIELD, and you design all our gear and weapons. We — I owe you a lot,” Steve continued. Tony clenched his hands together feeling uncomfortable and desperate to deny Steve’s words.

“I think you’re giving me more credit than I deserve, Steve. I have the money to spend and much of that money was earned through the blood and suffering of millions of people. I built weapons longer than I’ve been Iron Man and there’s still a lot I have to atone for. I haven’t done anything to admire; this is just another selfish thing I have to do to make myself feel better,” Tony said bitterly. “Look at my track record, its mistake after mistake and the biggest one yet ended up with over a hundred people dead. No one owes me anything.”

Steve shook his head and he finally looked at Tony’s face. His jaw was set and Tony knew he was about to argue. “Ultron wasn’t entirely your fault and really, please believe me that no one blames you for it anymore. What's important is that you did the right thing; we all tried our best and people still got hurt, but that’s the nature of our jobs. As long as we help the most people possible and do it together, we’ll be okay.”

Tony rolled his eyes, feeling a little angry at how reluctant Steve was to acknowledge Tony’s fuck up. “Yeah, and if you recall, I went ahead and created Vision without consulting you guys either. Hey, it turned out to be the right decision because Vision is an amazing dude — of course he is, he’s part JARVIS — but it still stands, I’m not the team player you guys need.”

Steve looked away from Tony and he had a small muscle ticking in his jaw. “I wish you’d just listen to me sometimes Tony. You made up for your mistakes. You think we all don’t have something to atone for? We do, but more often than not, the good we do outweighs the bad.”

Tony scoffed, “Tell me, what does Captain America have to atone for? You crashed a plane into the ocean and saved a million lives. You lost your best bud and he turns up as an assassin, but you still manage to save even more people. As far as I can see, you always make the right judgement call. You’re stubborn as hell but you’re fighting for the right reasons.”

Steve grew more and more tense as Tony spoke until his body seemed as tightly clenched as his jaw. “See? I’m an asshole, I keep mentioning Barnes even though it obviously makes you uncomfortable, but that’s Tony Stark — I have to keep poking at bruises.” Tony leaned away from Steve feeling exhausted. “Anyway, I’m sorry to have hijacked this conversation to harp about my own issues; what was it that you really wanted to talk about?”

Steve was still tense, his hands balled into fists on top on his denim covered thighs. “I don’t think you’re an asshole Tony. I’m sorry it seems like I don’t want to talk about Bucky. It's… just a sensitive topic. I couldn’t save him and-” he broke off, growing silent. “And now you can’t find him,” Tony finished.

Steve sighed and slowly untensed, his hands uncurling. “And I can’t find him. Tony, I talk about family because that was what Bucky is to me. I lost both my parents and he became my family. He was always looking out for me and he was always willing to join any fight I was in. Losing him was the single hardest thing I’ve experienced and it was my fault. I couldn’t grab him in time. Then I find out that he’s been alive this whole time? Suffering while I could have saved him? I kills me inside.”

Tony settled a tentative hand on Steve’s back, blown away by Steve’s honesty. He searched for something to say but felt like everything would come out as canned or insincere. “I understand your guilt but you couldn’t have done anything, you were, for all intents and purposes, dead. You couldn’t have spared him whatever happened to him.” He hesitated and then continued, drawing on a well of vulnerability the he usually pretended he didn’t have. “I know it isn’t even remotely the same, but I regret so many of the things I said and didn’t say to my parents. I didn’t understand Howard, not really. He wasn’t the best father but my mother tried to make up for it. When I lost her and Jarvis, I lost my family, but if I knew they were still alive and needed my help, I would move heaven and earth to save them.”

Steve looked, if it was possible, even more miserable and Tony wanted to slap himself for making Steve’s pain about himself. He dropped his hand from Steve’s back and turned to stare out the window. It was quite dark he realized and he knew he should be leaving the compound soon, but he was sure Steve still had more he wanted to discuss. Surely there was more of a point to this conversation than reminiscing about awkward and painful topics. As if he could here Tony’s thoughts, Steve drew in a shaky breath and opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a knock on his door.

Steve sighed but said, “Come in.”

“Hey, you got a minute, I have some details for the mission tomorrow you might want to see,” Sam said as he walked into the room. He looked uncomfortable, like he realized he was interrupting a deeply personal conversation. Tony jumped at the chance to leave. He wasn’t sure what Steve wanted to tell him, but if the topics stayed consistent, he wasn’t going to like whatever it was. He already felt on edge from the things they’d discussed and he didn’t feel like he had the emotional or mental capacity for more.

“Well, looks like you’re busy, Steve and if I don’t leave now, I’ll fall asleep here.” Tony clapped Steve on his shoulder and backed out of the room. “Hey there Sam, sorry for monopolizing Steve here. You know how he is, such a chatty Cathy once he’s had a glass or two of milk.” He danced around Sam and then headed out the door. His last glance back gave him a glimpse of Sam’s apologetic expression and Steve’s resigned one.

-

A week later, Tony was tinkering in his lab, going over the semantics of something he was tentatively calling the “badass watch gauntlet”, when his phone rang. Glancing at it, he was surprised to see it was Rhodey who he thought was still overseas for some military engagement or another. “FRIDAY, cut the music please, we have a call from our favorite Rhodey.”

“Hello, honey bear, what can I do for you? I thought you were in uh… I actually have no idea where you are,” Tony said.

“Hey Tony, I was in… Sokovia actually.” Tony flinched away from the phone, not expecting Rhodey’s response. “I was overseeing some of the U.S. military's relief efforts but not a lot of people are eager to see an Avenger around. I had to leave early, so I’m headed back to the compound. I was actually calling to see if you had time to come around and check out my suit, I think there’s something wrong with one of the shoulder missiles, it keeps jamming.”

Tony settled down onto a chair and batted DUM-E away when the robot tried to hand him rag for his hands. “How was it? Over there?” He briefly closed his eyes and saw the city, ravaged, bodies everywhere and the disconnected joints of robots mingled with the rubble. He felt nauseous and he had to hold back a gag. His hands were shaking and he rubbed one against his chest, where the arc reactor used to be.

“It’s rebuilding man, but yeah, it’s not pretty. I wish we could help more but we’re the last people they want to see,” Rhodey admitted. Tony pressed his lips together and tried to control his breathing.

“I’m sorry you’re getting the flack for my mistakes, it’s good to hear they are rebuilding. I don’t blame them for wanting nothing to do with us, though the others were just cleaning up my mess,” Tony said after he felt like he could talk without his voice shaking too much. “Anyway, you just missed me visiting the compound. I even had dinner with everyone!”

“I’m on to you! You just don’t want to visit your best friend. Probably too busy swooning over Steve,” Rhodey teased. He knew all about Tony’s unattainable crush on Steve because Tony had drunkenly waxed poetic about Steve’s sky blue eyes and his perfect ass to Rhodey. Rhodey was a good friend but as he’d told Tony, “If I have to listen to you go on about how you want to feast on Captain America’s ass like a buffet, then I get to make fun of you for it.”

“More like causing him to look like I killed his best friend. Or just bringing up that said best friend over and over again,” Tony muttered. He spun around on his chair and narrowed his eyes at DUM-E who seemed to be trying to sweep a mess of wires under the table rather than clean it up properly. “Anyway, you’re in luck. I was about to head back there again to give Sam a little surprise. Don’t you dare tip him off.”

Rhodey laughed. “I won’t, but he’s going to freak out. He spends like twenty minutes showing us all the new tricks he can do with his wings every time you upgrade them. It’ll be good to see you man; maybe we can take our suits around for a whirl. I know you’re working on a new one, don’t even pretend you aren’t.”

Tony smiled. “You caught me platypus. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll stop by after my meeting with Pepper on Wednesday. I’ll even bring dinner.” He felt better, talking to Rhodey. His best friend knew him perfectly and he was grateful Rhodey had rescued him from his own negative headspace.

“Alright, talk to you later, Tones.” Rhodey hung up and Tony swiveled around in his chair, tapping his phone against his thigh. He brought up the latest emails he had on the updates from the Stark Relief Foundation. They were still sending money and other aid to Sokovia but Tony liked to keep track of what was happening. He’d tried to keep hands off and let others who knew better handle how the aid was distributed but sometimes it was hard not to cut in when something important hit red tape.

He dismissed the semantics of his pet project. “FRIDAY, bring up the stuff for B.A.R.F”

 “Got it boss,” FRIDAY said in her lilting accent and the screens in front of him filled with the project he’d been working on long before Sokovia happened. It wasn’t done yet but he’d consulted with experts in both the medical and psychological fields and read everything he could on memory and trauma. It was an expensive endeavor, one with only one test subject, Tony himself, but it was something he could hopefully give back to trauma victims one day.

“Remind me to change the name sometime,” Tony said absently as he threw projections up in the air in front of him. He shivered as he realized now that he wasn’t doing anything strenuous, the sweat on his arms was slowly drying and the black tank top he had on was hardly enough to shield him from the cool air of the lab. A beep next to his drew him away from his thoughts and DUM-E was there, holding Steve’s leather jacket. He’d left it on the couch in the corner of the workshop.

He hesitated but the robot dropped it on his lap and beeped cheerfully. Tony patted it’s claw and picked up the jacket and smelled it. Though it had been over a week since Steve had given it to him, it still smelled a little like him, but layered with Tony’s scent. Tony wondered wistfully if this would be how their sheets would smell if they shared a bed. He couldn’t help but shrug it on and he closed his eyes at the feel of the soft lining against his chilled skin. He felt a little guilty that he hadn’t given the jacket back to Steve, since a ratty hoodie was hardly the same a nice leather jacket, but every time he thought about bringing it back, he found a reason not to. He reasoned that he’d give it back if Steve ever asked for it.

He rolled up the sleeves and rubbed his hands together. “FRIDAY, hit the music.”

“Got it,” FRIDAY said and soon the workshop was filled with the the sounds of ACDC’s Back in Black.

-

Wednesday found him driving to the compound in his orange Audi R8, he’d managed to change into more comfortable clothes from his meeting with Pepper but he’d tried to fit in a shower and hadn’t had time to dry or style his hair. Water dripped down his ear and his flicked it off as he got out of his car. He squinted at the compound, the sun making it glint brightly but he didn’t see anyone on the grounds.

“No welcome reception this time. They must be getting used to having me drop by,” Tony muttered as he took a metal case from the backseat of the car and walked towards the compound. He was startled by the sound of something heavy landing behind himself and he turned around to see Rhodey in his War Machine armor striding towards him. Rhodey lifted his face plate and gave Tony a wide smile and they attempted an awkward hug around the armor.

“Dude, I told you to bring your armor!” Rhodey complained as they continued walking back to the compound.

“I couldn't carry this thing and fly very well, but never you worry, we’ll get our flight in,” Tony promised. He winked at Rhodey and the other man clapped a gauntleted hand on his back, making Tony almost stagger off his feet. “Careful with the merchandise!” He complained as he rubbed at his sore shoulder. “This is why I quit the superhero business, my body was falling apart from all the heavy hits… from my own teammates!”

“Shut up, you’ve taken harder hits. You left because you knew you couldn’t compete with my level of badassery,” Rhodey said. They reached the garage of the compound and Tony helped Rhodey out his armor.

“By the way, something I’ve been noticing since I got back… did you give Steve your Stark Industries hoodie? I know it’s your’s, cuz it has  that burn hole right over the i!”

Tony switched the metal box from his left hand to his right and stopped before they could get onto the elevators leading to the main floors. “It’s my hoodie, but I didn’t give it to him. I lost it a while back and I guess he took a shine to it because he found it and decided to keep it. I don’t mind so _please_ don’t bring it up to him.” He took off the tinted glasses that he’d chosen for the day and gave Rhodey a stern look.

Rhodey burst out laughing. “W-wait, the man actually stole your hoodie? Oh my God, I asked him about it and he said something about you telling him to keep it. I thought you gave it to him but he stole it?” Rhodey wiped his eyes, still chuckling as Tony glared at him. “See, this is the exact reaction I don’t want you to have in front of him,” he hissed, pushing Rhodey as he continued to wheeze with laughter.

“How have you not asked him out yet? That has to be the most high school move ever. He stole your hoodie, my God. I used to think he’d have game but, oh man, was I wrong,” Rhodey said.

“I’m not going to ask him out! I’m pretty sure he thought it was someone else’s sweater, I usually never wear it out of the lab anyway. I told him to keep it so what’s he going to do? Take it off and throw it back in my face?” Tony asked. “Plus, I think he just likes how comfortable it is. Maybe he gets sick of dressing like a lost runway model. I’m pretty sure Nat took anything that didn’t seem like it was a size too small from his closet and donated it. I think a lot of 80 year olds were happy by the new additions to their wardrobe.”

“You are something else, Tony. I know you’re going to argue with anything I say, but let me tell you, if Steve wanted something comfortable, he would have ordered it online like anyone else and before you say that he doesn’t know how to use the internet, I have proof from the last dog video he shared in our group chat.”

They finally entered the elevator as Tony raised a hand and asked, “Wait, you guys have a group chat? And I’m not in it?”

“Trust me, you do not want to be in this one. It’s literally Sam trolling everyone else and Nat calling us stupid,” Rhodey said. Tony looked at him fondly. “Look at you, on a team with some youngins’ and you’re already talking like them.”

Rhodey gave him an unimpressed look. “People who watch vines to try to understand ‘the youth’ should not be casting judgement,” he said as they stepped out of the elevator. They were on the main floor, away from the living quarters and a hallway down from the gyms. They could hear faint sounds from one of the closer gyms and they headed towards the noise.

“That’s good, make sure not to lose your footing,” Steve’s voice drifted from the open door of the gym and Tony and Rhodey walked in just in time to see Wanda stumble backwards and fall hard on her butt as Steve lunged at her. They were both in workout clothes but while Steve looked relativity unwinded, Wanda was dripping sweat onto the mat. She blew a strand of hair away from her face and glared at Steve.

“I do not understand why I have to train like this. I can just blast away anyone who would get close to me,” Wanda said as she accepted the hand that Steve reached out to her.

“You can’t always rely on your powers, you have to account for very possible variable. Being able to fight hand to hand might be the difference between death and life. You did good, I can see you’ve been practicing your moves even if you don’t like it,” Steve complimented. He patted Wanda on her shoulder. “Go ahead and wash up. Oh, and if you could go talk to Vision about the whole walking through walls thing again, Sam would appreciate it. Apparently he walked through Sam’s shower wall and I think you explain it better than anyone else.”

Wanda walked past Tony and Rhodey and offered them a tentative smile that Tony tried to return before she disappeared down the hall towards the locker rooms.

“Wow, look at you, truly the team dad,” Tony teased as he walked towards Steve. They hesitated and Steve awkwardly reached out a hand, as if to offer Tony a handshake. Tony stared at the hand until Steve withdrew it and rubbed the back of his head. Rhodey put a hand on his face and said something that suspiciously sounded like “oh my god” under his breath.

“Hey Tony, Rhodey, I wasn’t expecting you today,” Steve said. He was blushing and it was clear he had also heard Rhodey’s words. Tony wanted the ground under his feet to swallow him; no one in his life had a modicum of subtly and he regretted that he’d been so obvious in his attraction to Steve. Tony did what he always did best and decided to talk around the situation.

“I had a little time today and thought I’d bless all of you with my presence. Did you go easy on Wanda? I feel like you did. I seem to recall a time when we sparred and I went home with a dislocated shoulder.”

Steve’s blush deepened and he looked down and scuffed the mat with one shoe. “She’s just a kid and you didn’t tell me I hurt you that badly until a few days later. Anyway, glad to see you here. Whatcha got in that briefcase?”

Tony smiled, feeling more relaxed, and hefted the metal case up and shook it. “Oh this? It’s for bird brain number two, aka Sam. You know where he is?”

“Sam? He’s probably somewhere around the compound. My guess is the kitchen, he’s got a bigger appetite than me,” Steve joked. He motioned for Tony and Rhodey to follow him and they made their way out of the gym. Tony felt bad that Steve wouldn’t be able to change out of his gym gear but the more selfish part of couldn’t help but drink in the sight of Steve’s strong back in his thin white shirt. His muscles rippled as he walked and Tony was so mesmerised, he almost ran into Rhodey as they drew to a stop in front of the entrance to the kitchen.

“Sam? Tony has something for you,” Steve said and sure enough, Sam’s head popped up out of the open fridge door. Tony wondered what Sam’s metabolism was like with a little jealousy; he wasn’t enhanced but he was younger than Tony and he could obviously keep up with Steve’s insane workout schedule and ate just like him.

“I knew it! Rhodey was acting all secretive this week and dropping hints like crazy but I couldn’t figure out what he was hiding,” Sam said as he made his way over to Tony and his companions. He had what looked like a sandwich in his hand and he took a huge bite and reached out his hand for Tony’s metal case.

“Hey, hands off the goods. This stuff is delicate. I need your wings for the full effect anyway, so finish your pre dinner snack and take me to where you keep your wings,” Tony said, holding the case out of reach. Sam rolled his eyes but crammed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth, smearing mustard on his lips. Tony wrinkled his nose at the messy eating and almost protested when Sam grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge and drank straight from it.

“Sam, just because no one else drinks almond milk, doesn’t mean you can just drink right out of the container,” Steve admonished. Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry man, I guess I’m too excited for this. Anyway, I keep my wings in my room; come on, I want to see what Stark made me.”

Thirty minutes later, they were on the lawn of the compound. The rest of team had joined them; Wanda, clearly fresh from her shower, Vision, wearing the uniform he seemed to prefer, Nat, dressed casually, and Rhodey, Sam, and Steve. Sam had laid out his wings on the grass and Tony dropped his case next to them.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Stark Drone MK82 922 V 80Z V2 Prototype Unit V6. It’s a mouthful and I fully expect Sam here to give it a new name, but for now, that’s what it’s called on my project list. Sam, if you would do the honors,” Tony said. He gripped the drone, lifted it out of the case, and handed it along with the wristband that controlled it to Sam.

“I am definitely re-naming this! Wow, it’s lighter than I expected. Why do we need my wings?” Sam asked as he strapped the wristband on and looked at the small plane like drone.

“Have you noticed that small hole at the top of your wings? That is where the drone will go,” Tony said and he motioned Sam to try out the wristband. Sam pressed some buttons, clearly already figuring out the settings. The drone hovered for a second and then flew into a hollow space at the top of the wings that slotted open.

“It’s basically your own AI, it can scan things, give you intel for places you can’t go, and even do some combat stunts,” Tony explained.

“Let’s give this a try,” Sam said as he strapped the wings onto his back. Everyone stepped back and let him fiddle with settings and soon the drone was hovering next to him.

“How about you two put on your suits and we’ll give this a try?” Sam asked, turning towards Rhodey and Tony. He had a grin on his face and one hand on top of the drone. He was clearly already fond of the new addition.

“Go on honey bear, get your suit. I know that thing can keep up with us, but I wonder if you can,” Tony said as Rhodey jogged back to the compound.

“Put on your suit, Stark, and we’ll see,” Sam taunted. Tony smiled, and spread out his hands, and everyone stepped away. In a couple of seconds, his armor was assembling around his body and he winked at Sam before his faceplate fell into place.

“Man, where can I get that sort of suit delivery?” Rhodey asked as he flew in to join Tony on the grass.

“I would offer, but the tech is more experimental than you’d like,” Tony said.

“Enough chatter, lets give this a try! You guys go first and I’ll see what my little buddy here can do!” Sam cut in. He pressed buttons on the wristband and the drone flew to Tony’s suit, scanning his armor.

“Wow, you weren’t wrong, this thing is telling me everything about your suit!”

Tony rolled back his shoulders and then with a nod towards Rhodey, he rocketed into the air, his friend a second behind him. As they flew, the drone followed them as Sam stayed on the ground. Tony knew it would take time for Sam to feel comfortable using both the drone and flying simultaneously, but he couldn’t help but want to show off some tricks.

“How about we run some of our old tricks and see if this thing can keep up?” He asked Rhodey. He didn’t wait for a response as he dove into spiral and sure enough, Rhodey and the drone were hot on his heels.

An hour later, they were back on the grass, though their spectators had dwindled down to just Sam and Steve. Sam was raving about the drone to a patient Steve, who smiled as Tony landed next to him.

“Redwing is going to change everything, just you wait.” Sam was saying as Tony lifted his faceplate. “Redwing? That’s what you’re calling it?” He inquired.

“It’s got red on its wing, so yes, got a problem with that?” Sam asked, faking a belligerent attitude. He ruined it by smiling and petting his drone as it came to hover by his side. “Thank you, Tony, I love it. It’s going to be fun seeing everything it can do.”

Tony waved away the thanks and then squinted at the compound. It was lit up in the glow of the setting sun and he suddenly remembered he had promised to bring dinner. “Oh crap, I was supposed to bring dinner! Well, too late for that. Do you get pizza delivery out here?”

Steve chuckled and put a hand on Tony’s armored shoulder. “No, but it’s ok, we have leftovers from last night. We weren’t expecting you or dinner so we’ll be fine. I hope you do join us though.”

Tony nodded. “Sure, might as well. All I have back at the tower are eggs of questionable quality. Let me change into something more comfortable.”

The armor peeled off of him and then reassembled and flew back to the compound. Sam whistled.

“That’s what I want next. I want my wings to work like that!”

Tony shook his head. “Like I told Rhodey, that tech is experimental and I don’t think you’d like the booster shots you need for it.”

They argued the finer points of Tony’s suit as they made their back to the compound, Steve trailing after them. Sam showed off the intel his drone had gathered on Tony’s suit to Steve as they filed into the elevator and Steve, ever the strategist, asked Sam to send him some of the results.

Tony grinned slyly and said, “Should I be worried you’ll use that against me one day? You only had to ask Steve, I would have given you all my suit details, including the safe word to get it open.”

Steve blushed so brightly that Tony could almost feel the heat of it, standing next to him. He brushed his curling hair out of his face and grinned. “Though as a retired superhero, my suit is solely for fun now.”

“The day you retire is the day Steve gets the dog he clearly wants,” Sam muttered next to them. “Seriously man, you’re still working on the suit and our gear. Just come back on the roster; Rhodey and uh- certain others would be thrilled.”

Tony bit back a sigh. He knew that he shouldn’t come around the compound so often; questions like these were bound to be asked and while he could handle Steve, requests from the others felt more pointed, as if they were wondering why he was still hanging around if he wasn’t even part of the team anymore.

“Not gonna happen. With Vision, you, and Rhodey, there are too many flying units on the team. Plus, I’ve suffered grievous injury signing all the checks to keep the lights on around here. I shudder to think what being back on the team would do to me. I leave that to the youngsters like you.”

“I think I’m older than you, Tony. But, it’s up to you if you want to come back,” Steve said as they arrived on at the communal floor. He gave a pointed look to Sam, who threw up his hands and then wandered towards his room, presumably to remove his wings.

“I don’t know why he even put them on if he was only going to play with his drone from the ground.” Tony shook his head. He followed Steve to the kitchen, curious as to what they had for leftovers and immediately ran into Natasha, who spilled scalding hot coffee all over the front of his shirt.

“Jesus Fuck!” He swore, hopping backwards and straight into Steve. He tore his now ruined shirt away from his chest, trying to get the hot liquid away from him. He wasn’t expecting it when Steve gripped his arm and started hustling them down the hallway, leaving behind an apologetic Natasha in the kitchen.

A moment later, Tony was all but shoved into Steve’s bathroom.

“Take the shirt off and get into the shower,” Steve directed. “If we get some cold water on the burns, hopefully they won’t blister.”

Tony awkwardly shrugged off the sports jacket he had on over his Star Wars t-shirt and then slipped the shirt off as well. His chest was red and he would have been embarrassed, standing shirtless with his scars visible in front of Steve, but the pain of the burn distracted him. He stepped into the shower, still in his jeans and turned it on, sighing as freezing water cascaded over his burning chest.

“It doesn’t look as bad as I expected,” Steve said. Tony jerked under the shower spray and blinked his eyes open. Steve was staring at his chest and Tony suddenly felt self conscious. He was in good shape, for his age, but his chest bore the scars from the arc reactor, something no one but Pepper had seen. He resisted the urge to cover his body and instead turned off the water.

“I think you reacted in time. Good thing for super soldier reflexes, eh?”

He was freezing, now that the urgency of the situation was gone and his clothes were a mess. He couldn’t wear the coffee stained shirt or his soaked jeans and he realized he had nothing at the compound to wear. He sighed, and was about to ask Steve to get Rhodey when Steve abruptly left the bathroom, leaving Tony standing drenched and a bit miserable. Tony didn’t have to wait long though, as Steve barrelled back in and, clutching a pile of clothing to his chest.

“I’m sure they won’t fit, but it beats being wet at least,” Steve said, handing Tony a towel and the clothes. They should there awkwardly until Steve blushed and backed out the door again. “I’ll uh-let you change.”

Tony stripped off his jeans, grimacing as the wet denim clung to his legs, and hastily toweled off his body. He sniffed the towel and then buried his face into it as Steve’s scent filled his nose. He felt like a creep but he was already in Steve’s bathroom, almost naked, it wasn’t like things could get any worse. As soon as he had the thought, Steve entered the bathroom again. Tony dropped the towel and wrapped his arms around his shivering body, realizing he was entirely bare, except for his boxers.

“I- I should have knocked. I’m so sorry. I was checking to see how things fit,” Steve stammered. His eyes were running up and down Tony’s exposed body and he didn’t leave like Tony desperately wanted him to. He cleared his throat.

“I haven’t gotten the chance to try them on. I’ll come out when I’m ready,” he said a bit pointedly. Steve’s eyes were fixed on his navel but they jerked up to meet his eyes at the terseness of his tone. He was blushing again, and he quickly licked his lips. Tony almost groaned at the sight of the tiny hint of pink tongue. He didn’t know why the universe was punishing him; he had been trying to do a good thing today!

“I’m. I’m so sorry, I’ll uh. I’m gonna leave now,” Steve said and he left the room again, but he took one last lingering glance at Tony before he disappeared behind the door. Tony finally picked up the towel again and rubbed it hard against his body, trying to be efficient and quick. He glanced at the pile of clothing Steve had dropped on the floor, wondering if he had given him underwear and if he would wear them if he had.

The first item was a white undershirt that slipped off his neck and showed off his collarbones. Luckily, Steve had also included a sweater. Not the one he’d borrowed from Tony, he was surprised to see, but a very similar one with the old SHIELD logo. It fit better than Tony expected and was warm and comfortable, almost like the old hoodie. The last article of clothing was a pair of sweatpants. Making a quick decision, he took off his wet boxers; he figured going commando would be better than the discomfort of wet underwear. He slipped on the sweatpants. They fit around his waist — because Steve was ridiculously trim — but they pooled around his feet. He rolled them up as best he could and then looked at himself in the mirror.

He looked like a kid wearing their father’s clothes. The sweater was baggy and the too large pants hung off his legs. His hair was a wet mess, curling and dripping water into his eyelashes. He felt and looked like a wet puppy and with that thought, he shook his head like a dog, spraying droplets of water across the bathroom. He shrugged his shoulders and gathered up his dirty clothes and dropped them into a hamper by the door. The cleaning staff would give them back to him or throw them away.

He steeled himself and walked out the bathroom door. He was oddly grateful that Steve wouldn’t care about his appearance, because he wouldn’t be winning any hearts with his look today. Steve was sketching at his art desk, his back to Tony when Tony entered his bedroom. His acute hearing picked up Tony’s quiet entrance and he quickly snapped his sketchbook closed and turned around to look at Tony. He opened his mouth and closed it, twice. Tony’s mood plummeted, he must look truly awful if Steve couldn’t even find words to say to him.

“You look- I mean,” Steve awkwardly coughed. “You look good Tony. It all fits better than I expected.”

Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes and drew himself up and walked towards the bedroom door like he was in his best three piece suit. “I know I do. Thank you for lending me the clothes. I left my old stuff in your hamper if that’s okay.”

He resolutely refused to meet Steve’s eyes as he marched out of the room but drew to a startled stop when he felt a warm hand touch the back of his neck. He felt one finger trace a line from the edge of his hair to where his skin disappeared into the sweater and shivered at the sensation.

“There was some water there,” Steve said and his voice was rough. Tony didn’t turn around but he felt like his whole body was buzzing, every single nerve alive, as if Steve had caressed his whole body, not just his neck. He didn’t move or say anything until the hand left his neck and he trembled a little as he brought a hand to ghost over the path Steve’s had taken.

“Thanks, but as you see, my hair is dripping water. Sorry I’ll get your clothes wet,” Tony said. His own voice sounded breathy and he cursed his crush again for ensuring he had no composure in front of Steve.

“I don’t mind at all. Also, I think that your hair looks really good like this. You should let it curl like that more often,” Steve said and he passed by Tony and went out the door, leaving Tony to scramble after him. Had Steve complimented his hair? Tony chased after Steve, who was taking long strides back towards the kitchen, and cursed the too long pants that made it impossible for him to catch up.

The rest of the team was already seated at the dining room table, a conglomeration of dishes in front of them. There was some sort of noodle casserole, a steaming pot of stew, bread rolls, a vegetable stir fry, what looked like fruit salad, and other closed containers he couldn’t see inside. It was like they’d upended the contents of the refrigerator onto the table and Tony was momentarily distracted from his own embarrassment so he could gape at the spread.

“Damn Tony, like your new style!” Rhodey said and he patted the open seat next to him. Tony blushed and ducked his head as he made his way over to join his friend.

“Thanks, it’s courtesy of Nat and her late day coffee habit,” Tony muttered, glaring at Natasha who was reaching for a roll. She had a small smile on her lips, clearly not feeling apologetic at all.

“I’m glad you’re okay. It’s a good thing Steve is so fast, isn’t it?” She asked as she buttered her roll. Steve, who had taken a seat next to her, shot her a look that she ignored.

The rest of dinner passed with light ribbings from everyone. Even Wanda joined in, saying she could have lent Tony one of her corsets because it might have fit better. Tony took it all good naturedly and tried not to make eye contact with Steve, who always seemed to be looking at him when Tony glanced his way. Dinner went late as everyone ate their fill, not a bit of food left when they were all done. Tony patted his belly and eyed Rhodey as he dragged one last piece of bread through the remains of his soup and popped it into his mouth.

“If you eat like this every night, I’m going to have to make your suit bigger,” Tony teased.

Rhodey groaned and eased back in his chair. “Don’t worry, Steve and Nat have us on the craziest exercise regime. I think my abs have abs now.”

“Maybe I should come back for that. I’m starting to get a bit flabby,” Tony said as he poked at his overly full stomach.

“You aren’t! In fact you look amazing!” Steve interjected from across the table. Everyone looked at him and he looked panicked, like he had not meant to say that out loud.

“Thanks for your kind lie, Cap,” Tony said, ignoring the squirmy happy feeling in his stomach. Steve was being nice, as he was to everyone on the team. He knew he shouldn’t take his compliments so personally but he clung onto them like they were special.

“I- I’m sorry. I meant, uh, you look like you’re still in fighting form,” Steve muttered. He looked down at the plate in his hand and abruptly got up and hustled it to the kitchen sink. Sam, who was seated next to him, looked like he was muffling a giggle behind his hand. In fact, everyone looked like they were fighting smiles and Tony tried to ignore them.

Rhodey and he worked on the War Machine armor in the workshop in the basement of the compound after dinner. It was a minor problem that he fixed by replacing a faulty wire, telling Rhodey he should have been able to fix it himself as a MIT graduate (earning him a “for the last time, not my major!”)

They joked around until Tony looked at the time and realized he should have left hours ago.

“I’m gonna fly the armor back. Will you drive my car back to the tower sometime this week?” Tony asked Rhodey as they took the elevator back to the main floor.

“Uh, sure man, I think I can swing that. Or you could come back again?” Rhodey said as he escorted Tony out to the grounds. It was dark outside but the lights from the compound lit up the grass and their surroundings in a dull yellow glow. Tony shook his head at his friend’s obvious attempt to get him to commit to another visit.

“Three visits in three weeks is too many for me. Gotta keep you guys guessing!” He said. He hugged Rhodey and then stepped back and and called the armor. He flew off and felt vaguely guilty for not saying goodbye to the rest of the team, but he doubted any of them expected it.

-

“Captain Rogers is here to see you,” FRIDAY informed him a few days later. He was in his workshop, working on his watch gauntlet, and he almost fell out of his swivel chair at FRIDAY’s announcement.

“I wasn’t expecting him! Did he say why he’s here?” Tony asked as he turned off his soldering iron.

“I assume it’s to keep his 3pm appointment with you,” FRIDAY said. “He has also returned your car.”

“Wait, what appointment?” Tony asked as he rubbed his dirty hands on a towel and made his way towards the stairs to the elevator.

“Captain Rogers arranged a meeting with you through me. It was on your calendar,” FRIDAY said, her tone sounded suspiciously judgmental.

Tony tapped at his phone, bringing up the calendar he never checked. Sure enough, Steve’s name was on the slot for 3pm today. He wondered why the other man hadn’t just called him to see if he could come by but felt faintly impressed that he’d actually managed to navigate FRIDAY’s confusing scheduling system.

“Sorry Fry, thank you for keeping my life organized,” Tony apologized. He figured Steve was probably in his living room and was proven right as the elevator delivered him to his penthouse floor.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you today! How sneaky, using my AI to set up an appointment with me,” Tony said as he walked towards Steve. Steve looked up sharply at Tony’s approach and Tony almost stepped backwards at the expression on Steve’s face. He looked anguished, like he was about to deliver the worst news of Tony’s life. Tony’s heart started to beat faster. _Is it Rhodey? Someone else on the team? Why would he make an appointment for that?_ He asked himself.

“Hey Tony, I wanted to make sure you were free to talk,” Steve whispered. Tony wanted to run, knowing whatever Steve wanted to discuss wouldn’t be good, but instead, he dropped onto the armchair across from Steve.

“I’m going to guess that I won’t like what you have to say,” Tony said. His leg was already bouncing nervously, a stark contrast to how still and quiet Steve was. Steve’s lips were pressed so firmly together, they were bone white, and Tony waited, trying to be patient as dread crawled up his spine like ice.

“How much do you know about what happened in DC?” Steve finally asked.

Tony felt… confused. The events of DC had happened over a year ago and when he’d asked Steve or Nat about it, they hadn’t told him much. Tony had stepped into help the displaced SHIELD agents and began to fully fund the Avengers but outside of that, he knew about as much as anyone else. He’d resisted the urge to go through the data dump, confident that Steve and Nat would tell him anything he needed to know and — in his own way — respecting Steve’s need to keep information about his friend to himself.

“You know I don’t know anything really. Just what you and Nat told me,” Tony said honestly. Some of the dread was ebbing away and now he wondered if Steve was finally going ask for his help in locating Bucky.

“So, you don’t know much about Bucky? About what happened to him? Or what he’s been forced to do?” Steve asked. He was running his hands up and down his thighs, pushing so hard, it had to hurt, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead his gaze was unfocused, like he was remembering something.

“I tried to respect your wishes, so I didn’t look into him at all. I just know he’s a lot different than the stories my old man told me,” Tony tried to joke. He wasn’t expecting the almost violent flinch Steve gave and he wondered if he should try to comfort Steve.

“Well. I’m so sorry Tony. Just please know I’m so sorry. I never meant to keep this from you for so long. He’s my friend. My brother. The only family I had and this isn’t him. I swear to you, it isn’t,” Steve said and Tony was shocked to see tears spill down Steve’s face. Tony’s heart began to pound again and he felt sick.

“Why are you apologizing? For God’s sake, just tell me!” Tony snapped. He felt caged in, like the walls of his vast apartment were closing in on him but he needed to hear what Steve had to say. Needed to know what the other man had been hiding from him.

“Bucky was an assassin. HYDRA used him to kill their enemies, they froze him and woke him up, wiped his memories, and used him like a weapon,” Steve explained. His voice was shaking and tears were still leaking from his eyes. Tony felt sympathy well up inside of him, even as he still feared where the conversation was going.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispered. Steve shook his head.

“God Tony, please don’t apologize to me. You don’t ever have to apologize to me. I’m a hypocrite. I tell you that you keep secrets while keeping the worst one of all.”

Steve paused and his eyes finally focused, meeting Tony’s. The tears in them made them shine and Tony wanted to reach out and wipe his cheeks, offer some sort of comfort to the distraught man.

“So, Bucky was an assassin, basically a boogie man that carried out dozens of successful assassinations for many years. They call him the Winter Soldier and he is nothing like the Bucky I knew, please believe me,” Steve begged. Tony nodded hesitantly and held his breath as Steve continued.

“I don’t know for sure, but it makes the most sense… but I think. Oh God Tony, please know this is killing me too. But, I think HYDRA used Bucky to-” Steve broke off as a sob broke free from his chest. Tony’s lungs were burning as he suddenly realized where this was going. He wanted to get up and leave. If he left, he could pretend none of this happened, but he was frozen, unable to even breathe.

“Your parents were killed by HYDRA and I think they used Bucky to do it,” Steve finally whispered. He was crying in earnest now, but Tony felt numb, the words circling in his brain on repeat.

He finally found his voice as he stared at Steve, who was breaking apart in front of him. “You’ve known this whole time?”

Steve nodded, clearly beyond words. Tony felt like he was underwater, like everything was far away, even noise was muted and he felt like he couldn’t catch a breath. He had to… he had to leave. He had to get out. He needed to be as far away from this as he could possibly be.

There was a crash as his armor flew from his room into the living room. Steve jumped up but Tony calmly walked past him and stepped into the armor. He felt like he was in a daze and he let his body move on its on. He turned towards the window, and only stopped when he heard Steve say his name.

“Tony please, please be safe. I know I have no right to talk to you, but please, call Rhodey, call Pepper,” Steve begged him. He was shaking and still crying and Tony almost envied that he could feel emotion. Tony felt like a husk, completely hollow, devoid of all thoughts or feelings. He didn’t respond to Steve. He flew straight at the window and crashed through it, leaving the other man behind without a glance back.

 


End file.
